What'd'fuck's up with Collard Shirts?

A few weeks ago I read a very worth-while web-comic by prominent Furry artist Jay Naylor. If you're not familiar with his work, he draws anthropomorphic animal-people normally having sex and discussing life, love, and Ayn Rand-ian philosophy like the psychopathic mouth pieces his characters are. Regardless of his republican nonsense, though, "Better Days" is STILL a very good work, which I found absolutely engaging, for it's novel story, endearing art style, and original characters, who I got to watch grow up in front of my eyes, in the course of 2 days (which is how long it took me to casually read through all 24 chapters.) Even if I don't subscribe to half of his objectivist bullshit I still tried to entertain some of the values that I read about, and I fear that perhaps I might have taken too much of it all to heart. Here's one page in particular that I took offense at, but somehow ended up letting it effect me too much:


The older people in my family used to nag me about not wearing collard shirts. They would tell me that I looked silly wearing shirts with band logo's on them. Before now it never really bothered me, but in the recent months I've been feeling like a change of wardrobe might be nice, and I guess this sort of encouraged me in my mind to go through with it. It's not like I would LOOSE all my old Metal Gear Solid shirts if I wore some "nice" shirts now and again. Plus a little conformity might help me get a job sooner rather than later. Unfortunately whenever it comes to clothes (specifically shoes, and I guess, collard shirts) finding a good fit isn't easy.





This is me in a new collard shirt that I bought from a prominently black store in the city (don't look at me like that, their style is a little bit different from the stuff that's offered in Sears or Macy's...) Anyway, it's a medium, it fits well in the shoulders (which for some reason is a problem with me, I don't really look like I have broad shoulders, but it always feels like coats and shirts are squeezing me there.) So it's a good buy right? Wait... what's this?...



THERE"S ENOUGH ROOM IN THE GUT FOR A COUPLE OF FAT GUYS TO JOIN ME!!!

Seriously, this isn't just me, believe it or not, I was flabber-gasted enough to look up OTHER BLOGS where other guys talk about how hard it is to find a shirt that fits FOR THE EXACT SAME REASON! One guy said that it felt like they were making shirts so that we could all carry inflated beach balls in the gut...

Is this the new style? No, really, it sounds psychotic, but recently I've read TWO articles about "style" that say that the new hip (supposedly) is guys with a gut..... no really, that's what I read. There was a study done in London where women reported that they associated fit muscular stomachs with HOMOSEXUALITY and a little fat around the middle as a sign of masculinity and an "experienced man." *SIGH*... what the fuck? Coudn't they have ENACTED this new "style" BEFORE I LOST 70 POUNDS!? And either way, there are LOADS of stores that sell dresses to STICK-GIRL why can't I get a shirt that contours to me side a little? Oh well, I think the shirt looks ok with my coats and stuff. Maybe it's not so bad.